there's a difference

a frequent conversation

“But how will you deal with criminals without a government?”

“They'll probably be blacklisted. Anyone who violates property rights will find it impossible to get a job, rent an apartment, or even buy food. They'll have to turn themselves in and agree to some kind of repayment plan if they want to participate in society.”

“Then you might as well have a government. Withholding food from somebody until they meet your demands is the same as pointing a gun at their head. In both cases, you're limiting their options to obedience or death.”

“No. In one case you are threatening to murder somebody. In the other, you are refusing to trade with them. Freedom isn't about options. It's about property rights.”

“But the result is the same.”

“ ... ...What is the basis of morality?”

“That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about the practicalities of social structure.”

“But it is what we're talking about. This comes down to the basic difference between right and wrong. I say that morality is the non-aggression principle. It's not OK to hurt people and it's not OK to take their stuff.”

“OK, I agree that morality starts there. But you also have to balance that with helping people. If someone is starving, you have to feed them.”

“No. What you're talking about is virtue. I agree that a “good person” would feed someone who's starving, but you can't violate someone's rights to achieve that. You can't justify armed robbery (taxes) no matter how misguidedly noble your cause is.”

and now it's time for a breakdown

People are confusing morality with virtue. And they're doing it on purpose. They want to be able to justify otherwise immoral acts to force other people to behave virtuously. And they want to do it, because they're afraid.

Morality is the non-aggression principle. That's it. Property rights. Nobody has the right to hit you or rape you or kidnap you, because you own your body. So nobody has the right to stop you from aborting a fetus, marrying a same sex partner, crossing the Rio Grande or smoking household cleaners, because you own your body. Nobody has the right to steal from you, swindle you, or vandalize your property, because you own your stuff. So nobody has the right to confiscate a portion of your wages, to bulldoze your home to put up a Walmart, to dictate what rent you can charge on your apartments, or to stop you from smoking in your own bar, because you own your stuff.

Virtue is courage. That's it. The willingness to face your fears. The willingness to sacrifice an immediately achievable value for the hope of achieving a greater value. We honor the bravery of the soldier and the stoicism of the cancer patient because they are both a kind of courage. We admire the discipline of the athlete, the diligence of the scholar, the defiance of the philosopher, and the vulnerability of the artist, because they are all a kind of courage. We also respect the compassion of the good Samaritan, because it is evidence of courage. Because a lack of empathy is the result of the cowardly refusal to process the negative emotional consequences of value frustration.

Morality is enforceable. If someone steals your stuff, you can take it back. If someone tries to rape you, you can shoot him. You can use force to defend your property or to retrieve the value of what was taken from you. But virtue is not enforceable. If someone refuses to defend the innocent, to educate themselves, or to process their emotions, you can't put them in jail for it. If someone refuses to assist others in need, you can't hold a gun to their head and demand it of them. You can't use force to compel anyone to face their fears or to exhibit behaviors consistent with someone who does. When you try to enforce virtue, you violate morality.

And the thing is, you already know this. You don't hold a gun to your friend's head and demand she give you a ride to the airport. You earn that ride with intimacy. You don't threaten people's lives if they don't donate to charity. You appeal to their virtue and ask them nicely. You never violate morality to compel virtue in your personal life. It's only in the “public” sphere that you compromise. You're afraid that people are so greedy that they won't help people in need. That's why you're a liberal. You're afraid that people are so malevolent that they'll kill and rape and steal if they have a chance. That's why you're a conservative.  You're afraid that people are so stupid that they can't come up with nonviolent solutions to criminality.  That's why you're a libertarian.

So don't be a coward. Don't threaten people with murder to alleviate your fears. Don't pretend there is any excuse to violate morality, even to compel virtue. Put down the guns and take responsibility for your own concerns.